Team Seven Jumps Ship
by Death In White
Summary: When Naruto found out about the fox, people thought he took it well. When he was assigned to team seven, they assumed he was okay. When he and his teammates tried to get new sensei, well they accounted it to Kakashi's hell style training, and shrugged it off. When Naruto sets off a multi pronged prank, and team seven vanishes. Well people panic. Team Seven VS the world, game on.
1. Days of Hell: Round One

**Team Seven Jumps Ship**

 **By: Death In White**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own anything beyond my own ideas and characters.**

 **Summary: When Naruto found out about the fox, people thought he took it well. When he was assigned to team seven, they assumed he was okay. When he and his teammates tried to get new sensei, well they accounted it to Kakashi's hell style training, and shrugged it off. When Naruto sets off a multi pronged prank, and team seven vanishes. Well people panic.**

 **Team Seven VS the world, game on.**

 **Days of Hell: Round One**

Sasuke couldn't believe his ears as Naruto looked at the two expectantly. It had been one week since becoming genin, seven days, and he had no clue how to respond.

Honestly when Naruto mentioned after they passed the bell test about getting out from under Kakashi's reign he thought he was kidding.

When two days later he had transfer forms, and was filling out his own, Sasuke nodded along and did the same, because let's face it Kakashi wasn't helping him grow stronger fast enough.

When the denied forms came back and they completed team transfer forms the following day, the red flags should have been apparent.

This had not been in the plan. This hadn't been in any of his plans!

Sakura blinked at Naruto owlishly beside him. "Could you repeat that, I don't think I heard right." she asked, voice flabbergasted.

"I'm leaving to become a missing nin, wanna come?" Naruto chirped again sipping on his coffee cup, he looked completely at ease with the statement traveling pack beside him.

Sakura chuckled nervously, "Did you- Did he- Sasuke-kun tell me he didn't- I must be dreaming- Sasuke-kun marry me." she begged.

"No." he bit out at her, "Are you serious right now or is this another one of your stupid pranks." he asked, now looking at the chipper blond in front of him.

Naruto set down his cup slowly looking between the both of them, "I'm not joking, just figured I'd give you a heads up on what's going on. I am being nice and offering for you to come with me, if I didn't think you both could thrive and be helpful to me out there I wouldn't have offered. I mean it's stupid to tell two genin my plans to leave." Sasuke would give him that at least, "And besides, Kakashi isn't actually training us. And while normally we could transfer away, I've filled out every form possible and it's just not flying. So since I can't get you guys a better teacher, I've decided that I'm flying the coop anyway. You can either come with or deal with Kakashi alone." he told them seriously. "Really he obviously doesn't want students and even when focused on Sasuke for the last week, Sasuke's not better. So how much can he teach the three of us to keep us alive."

And that was the heart of the problem. Sakura had accepted it wasn't a dream, Sasuke said no to marriage, he'd only ever said yes in dreams. And Naruto had been desperate to get them away. Plus Kakashi was really bad at the whole sensei shtick, like extra so, because how can you beat Mizuki. "So since hypothetically I'm in on this 'Let's Jump the Fucking Ship' Plan." Sakura started, "What is the plan." she asked.

Sasuke couldn't believe his ears, "Are you two serious right now." he asked still in disbelief.

"No, I am though, and Sakura's hypothetical. Aren't you following Sasuke?" Naruto asked head tilted. And really that was the third time tonight he used his name casually, no shouting. How was this real. "And I thought you were suppose to be a prodigy."

Sakura groaned, "Now is not the time, leave Sasuke-kun alone, and tell me the plan I hypothetically am in on." she snapped at Naruto causing the blond to grin.

"We'll I can't in the presence of his highness as he isn't even hypot-"

"I wouldn't be making triple sure if I wasn't joining you, you idiot." Sasuke snarled cutting Naruto off, "No the plan."

Naruto grinned, "Well I'm glad you asked. As you are all aware I am the prank king, and as such have very good planning skills, because pranks are glorified traps and distractions." he started, "Inside two scrolls I have everything you guys need including a list of what additional things you should gather for the group. My list is longer but also already started as I have been planning this for ten days. We are in the final hours until we are following... What was the name." he paused, "Oh yeah, the 'Let's Jump the Fucking Ship' Plan. Shortened to LJFSP for time and secrecy. I hope you are fully aware this is irreversible on a very big scale." Naruto told his teammates.

Receiving a pair of eye roles he continued, "After we've completed the preparations we will commence phase one: Get the Hell Away." Sakura looked pleased with the name, Naruto noted before shaking his head to get back on track. "Under the cover of seventeen pranks and a hand full of minor inconveniences, we will make a line straight for the western wall, once outside we will run for the village sixteen clicks northwest, there we will change into civilian clothes, use the hair dye and eye dye injections supplied in the packs made for you, and finally apply chakra suppressant bands to hide ourselves from train chakra sensors. Once complete we are to make our way to the next village by foot with packs of wares, which are sealed away in my own pack as of this moment. Our companions to travel with us will be my shadow clones under a solid hedge as two middle age adults. I will also in addition to using the dyes be using a solid hede to appear as a five year old. This should allow us enough cover on the road to avoid suspicion. When we reach Xington and have located an inn we will hopefully obtain two rooms for a pack of clone look alikes to sleep in, while the rest ourselves in the woods as we were taught by Iruka. In the morning we will commence phase two."

Sakura blinked, that was detailed. "What about trackers? For scent?" she asked.

Naruto whipped out a scroll dumping the contents on the ground. Three vials of some smear. "Each prank is going to release a potent scented chemical cloud. In each of your homes, I will set up a similar vile like this to burst on a timer washing away the scent where it's strongest. There are already some in the common places and one in Kakashi's house, the memorial stone, and all the training grounds to go off with the pranks, I'll have to put one in the Yamanaka flower stall, and Ino's room to make sure should you hypothetically come along."

Sasuke blinked, "Names?"

Naruto nodded, "Gone, you can't use them until we can actually stand up against the bounty hunters and elite ninja of the world. Besides your name once a missing nin will be infamous, all of ours the genin who disappeared. Are the dead? Are they Alive? Where could they be?" Naruto shrugged his smile sharp, "Sometimes your name is a beautiful thing when you have the protection of a village at your back, out their everything you are is known, you can't afford to be prideful and boast about your accomplishments, there will come a time, but for now, when we are running with our lives so unprotected we must be fucking ninja, and hide, be deceitful, and cunning, we don't have the time to learn slowly, being nurtured and encouraged, if that's what Kakashi was capable of to begin with, we have to harden ourselves and learn rapidly, master techniques to stay ahead not gather them like collectables, sometimes basics will save you in a way you could never imagine." Naruto snarked. And Sasuke believed him.

"Soulmates?" Sakura asked. Naruto and Sasuke looked at her for a moment. "What just cause I don't have one doesn't mean you don't."

"You don't have a soulmate?" Naruto asked slowly.

Sakura blushed, "Uh no proof that I do at least. Never had an injury that wasn't mine, no scars or red marks showing they exist. Ninja's die all the time, the likelihood any of us would meet them is low." she muttered.

Sasuke looked at her in a new light, that was brave, "We'll cross that bridge when we get there. Besides until we can take our names back, how the hell would we protect a soulmate on the run, while they only know an alias." Naruto exclaimed, slinging his backpack on, two scrolls in hand.

"How long until we leave." Sakura asked, "I need to get everything from home that I'll need and your list." she told him, "And then Sakura Haruno is missing." hey eyes were hard, determined. "Don't think for a second this means I'll date you Naruto." he looked at her curiously, why would he ever take advantage of her soulmate status, "but so help me Kami, if you die before we find a home out there, before we're strong enough to hold our names, I will find a way to resurrect you and kill you again myself." the Pinkette stood, taller and stronger than she ever had.

Now that made sense, he was happy to see Sakura look so put together. Naruto's smile went from too sharp to predatory, "It's a promise of a lifetime." he told her throwing medium sized scroll her way. "It's labeled." he pointed out at her questioning look, turning to Sasuke, "You in?"

The Raven nodded, "Couldn't stop me if you tried." he said before taking the other scroll.

Naruto nodded "You have until seven in the morning, but don't go to the bridge. At a quarter after the pranks begin. Meet me at the west end of the red light district when cover hits. I have more vials to cover our scent when we hit the edge of the scent ring that is going to hang over the village for the next few weeks."

The plan was coming together, and the three were in on it.

Sakura smiled turning to leave, she'd be living with Sasuke-kun, traveling with him, making memories beside him, befriending him. "And Sasuke, before you start you should know, what happened with Itachi, it's more than you think." Sakura froze at Naruto's voice. She remember the introductions, she knew what her brother did, to claim something like that, she couldn't think of what it could mean.

Spinning around quickly she watched Sasuke fume, "I found something interesting out when in the tower a few days ago, you might be interested in." Naruto commented, keeping Sasuke from shouting. "I swear to you I will help you find your brother, and I will help you get the truth, the whole truth."

Something was off, more than him just using Sasuke's name, something in Naruto had changed. Sasuke stood frozen for a minute, before breaking, he'd figure Naruto out later. "I know the truth, I watched it." his voice was harder than his teammates had ever heard it be before.

Naruto was far braver than they gave him credit, pushing past the anger and need to defend himself, he nodded, "That's great and all, but you see, I looked into it anyway, call it morbid curiosity. The reason I went looking into it, the complete reason, was because it came as a shock to a lot of people he'd do such a thing, since they all said he was a pacifist. So I had to ask myself, why would someone who didn't like fighting kill his whole family save one." Sasuke drew in a sharp breath, "I found the orders, the leaf is at civil war without anyone knowing it. Isn't that peachy, and a very good reason number two to run the fuck away." Naruto said with false cheer before going straight on, "Your parents were planning a coup. Itachi and a guy named Shisui were trying to negotiate, trying to stop the coop. And it was working, but then Shisui was found dead without his eyes, not his eyes destroyed, but his eyes stolen. The order to kill them, the signed order had bypassed the Hokage, his signature forged, I saw it myself in the tower. And your know what, I think your brother knew that, a prodigy he was too you know. It's speculation from here, but the orders said every Uchiha, I think he bargained for you." The news was ground break, Sakura wasn't sure what the world was coming to, it was too much, Naruto chuckled softly, humorlessly, "But there was a second order, an order that was solely signed by the Hokage, it was to spy on the Akatsuki. I can't help but think there's shit missing, I'm not a prodigy or even a genius by any means, but it still doesn't sound right. So, fuck all reason number three to leave, figure out who the fuck the Akatsuki are, and four why the hell a pacifist would become a mass murderer." Naruto finish, eyes hard staring Sasuke.

And Sasuke, Sasuke felt water dropping in his lap, before glancing up at the clear sky. Raising a shaky hand to his face, he couldn't believe he was crying, he hadn't cried since the night they all died. He couldn't decide what he was feeling, not really, he was so angry, so hurt, so confused. "Your sure. You have to be sure." he asked around the tears, wiping at them with his arm warmer.

Naruto let out a small tired smile, he was relieved it wasn't going to become a bloodbath before he could leave, "I'd steal you proof, but that would tip off the Hokage to us trying to find out more, you know." Naruto said, before his face dropping back to neutral, "But for what it's worth, when we find Itachi, I'll help you get your answers on the none official shit. And if you still want to kill him, I'll help you to the end."

Sakura let herself relaxe for the first time since hearing Naruto's absurd declaration that evening. "We both will Sasuke-kun."

The three shared a look before running away.

* * *

 _Itachi,_

 _I regret to inform you that your brother has gone rogue, under the guise of Naruto's panks, he and his teams stole away from the village,as of fourteen days ago they have been declared missing nin and enemies of Konoha._

 _I am deeply sorry for you loss._

 _The Third Hokage, Hiruzen Sarutobi._


	2. Days of Hell: Round Two

**Team Seven Jumps Ship**

 **By: Death In White**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own anything beyond my own ideas and characters.**

 **Summary:**

 _When Naruto found out about the fox, people thought he took it well. When he was assigned to team seven, they assumed he was okay. When he and his teammates tried to get new sensei, well they accounted it to Kakashi's hell style training, and shrugged it off. When Naruto sets off a multi pronged prank, and team seven vanishes. Well people panic._

 _Team Seven VS the world, game on._

 **CHAPTER ONE NOTICE: If you read chapter one prior to this chapter being posted, please note I have made some corrections to attempt and make the story flow better.**

 **I have fixed some run on sentences, grammar, punctuation, and capitalization I missed in my first post.**

 **I have also reworded a few sections for ease into later chapters, if you do not go back and reread them it will all still make sense the direction has not changed, nor what happened during the chapter.**

Thank you for Reviewing! I am so happy you all did...

 **Charlotte Sawyer:** I'm so glad you liked it! When I first started writing the story, I planned so many different outcomes, this is actually the joining of three of my older works. Right now it's all about combining them in a way that flows well, and leads to a whole new path, I might run out of story from all three, diverging from the paths that existed, but I'm making a whole new story, so that is okay. And you'll just have to keep reading to see what is up with the Akatsuki, their time to shine will come. So will Itachi's.

 **Bankai777:** Jiraiya will have his spot light, I hope it does justice for you. I'm very glad to see you are interested in my story. I feel so happy that people are enjoying the story and reviewing. Please if you have any questions, comments, concerns, or ideas, I'd love to hear them.

 **SSSRHA:** Thank you so very much for the tips! I did a quick spelling look over and tried to make sure it all sounded okay, but it looks like I missed somethings in my excitement. I absolutely love having feedback on my writing for both the story, and errors I've made. I have gone back and fixed some of the things you commented on, and I really do appreciate that you were willing to assist me with correcting those mistakes, I will take better care to hopefully catch them all in the future.

 **Days of Hell: Round Two**

The first few weeks were hell on the run. Sakura found she really wasn't in any condition to be a ninja, let alone a missing one.

Though Naruto never let her down, if they need to run, he had no trouble picking her up. He also had no trouble later on, during the night when they were safe for the moment, working her to the bone around camp.

She could feel it within herself, she was slowly starting to catch up.

It didn't stop her from still not understanding just how good Naruto was, especially at time management. Looking at it critically from her memory, he was never on time to class at the academy. Never. So how he managed to do everything in a day, to keep them all moving, training, and enjoying living on the run every single day was beyond her.

She remembered, that all six of them found sanctuary when they reached a small farming village in the middle of fire country, where there was bandit life was consistent, but never enough to draw ninja in. Where there was space, but enough people to keep company.

The balancing act of the first odd month on the run, became a lull, and as long as the community they were in could handle them, the trio saw no reason to leave until they wanted to.

Naruto fit in well as one of the first aliases he made in an effort to save them.

Koga, was made in desperation when bandits had taken her and Sasuke from their camp when Naruto was asleep. She had no delusions what bandits did to young girls, being a ninja, she knew the statistics. Naruto had not even thought twice before swooping in, he was dressed like as some punk kid, but his stance it was so much like a bandit, had he not gave her the sign for safety, she may have panicked more.

That was the day Sakura and Sasuke learned Naruto would kill for them, that he would do anything for them, to keep them safe. It didn't matter, that Koga was now a known bandit with the habit of crushing skulls with a silver baseball bat.

Koga, when they reached the farming village, had already taken control of the camps in the area, and struck fear into the enemies hearts.

Koga, while a bit bloody, was a blessing in the end. He kept the team informed, and safe.

Training didn't stop, even as the family began working on a reasonable sized farm. They chose to raised cattle and chickens. In the effort to ensure that they would still have plenty of time for their garden.

Sakura paused at that thought as she reviewed how her life had been this far in an effort to get her mind off her worries.

She signed softly glancing up from her clipboard. Underneath the house Naruto and Sasuke had carved out and created an underground lab.

A lab which they had happily named their garden, which would be accurate if they weren't genetically gowning nondescript human bodies with homemade DNA manipulations.

Koga had been Naruto's first alias to get a body, she had smiled, though he was on his third iteration, the body finally in a state that it didn't need medical attention every other day to keep it alive.

And after nearly three months they had a small army, they hadn't even been out as their aliases they left Konoha as for a while.

Their first pet project of creating permanent clones for Naruto had been a success.

"Alright, that's the last one." she called to the boys, "Once you have them all set up we should get them out of here and spread out soon." Marking a final check on her clipboard over body five hundred and fifteen.

Naruto grinned at her. "Awesome!"

"The seals still all are intact inside them on the bones, I had Naruto test to make sure they'd react." Sasuke called glancing over a map. "My checks are all done." he muttered before glancing at Naruto, "Twice." was added as an afterthought.

Naruto hopped off his spot on the floor in excitement. "We'll split up to take them out in mass, Koga can take the thugs," He gestured to the new bandits they finished last week sitting around a table clothed, their clones practicing movements and speech patterns while playing poker. "Sakura," he continued, "if you could get the girls to Mirama's establishment, she'll send them to where they are needed. Sasuke, you'll take the lord and his entourage out to the border of the land of stone. And I will handle, the new establishments. The rest will be bundled up into scrolls for when needed." Naruto chirped, happily.

And really the three were proud of their pet project. For the first month had been touch and go, even with all the texts, they couldn't get the formula to work, to be fair they likely wouldn't have even thought about using nature chakra to aid the growth until an accidental misfire during a spar, a month and a half in. There were also the period of time when, two hundred of their fresh grown bodies had gotten destroyed while Naruto and his clones learned to combine with flesh.

Sasuke didn't let Naruto try until at least a hundred clones were functioning correctly in the field for a week before letting him near himself.

And wasn't that a good thing.

Sasuke had five straight days with a migraine while he allowed Naruto's clones access to his own body for practice, to learn his aliases.

His sharingan, became a saving grace in helping Naruto's clones combine with living flesh already containing a complete chakra network, and a person.

Sakura happily only had to deal with one minor headache from learning to deal with a third voice in her head. Though her team now new about her split personality, she'd still take it as a win.

It was a strange feeling having another person share your space.

Why Tanka Uzumaki had thought it was a good idea, was beyond Sakura. Though, maybe the fact Tanka only used Rock Dolls, something Naruto did verify being easier to handle, had helped keep the pain to a minimum. She thought, thinking of Naruto's text that lead him to this solution, though he wouldn't only be living ten lives, he'd be living hundreds, and maybe later on, thousands.

"Sound's good, Naruto." she smiled. "Where is Koga anyways?"

Naruto just grinned, "He just sent some information, should be here in a few minutes." He told her.

Naruto's research from Tanka Uzumaki's book _The Art of Living Ten Live's_ had been extremely helpful in the seals required to keep him in contact with his clones even from a distance. He could push information to them easily, and a clone could send information back by creating its own clone and dispeling itself.

Personally. Sakura attributed the success of the bodies themselves, to the leather bound journal, she both wanted to throttle Naruto for taking and Kiss him. The journal had belonged to Tsunade Senju, it was an essay on her 'modern medicine'. "What are you thinking about so hard?" Naruto asked, pausing the processes of sealing away the extra bodies.

Sasuke hummed, glancing up from the map, they had made for base establishments, marking the rough areas Naruto would be headed too. "It's nothing you guys, honest. I'm just thinking about how we got this far." She smiled, her previous worries floating to mind.

Naruto didn't look like he believed her, but he let it drop. They really did have to get the bodies taken care of so they could collapse the lab, burying it as if it never existed.

Sakura was startled out of her musing but Sasuke's soft voice.

"That all?" Sasuke muttered leaving the map for a moment to study her. "Naruto, Sakura and I are going to change, can you finish up alone."

"Sure." the blond chirped, waving them away. Fully aware, Sasuke could handle, Sakura's worry better than he could, she had found a confidant in him, especially when it came to Naruto himself.

Sakura silently cursed the Uchiha.

Following him up to the main house, he easily led her to the bunk room. "What's really bothering you?" Sasuke asked not ever one to beat around the bush.

She studied him as he leaned against the dresser, his pack already on top ready for when they leave. Giving in she stomped her foot in annoyance, "Naruto's headaches are getting worse. So, I just want to get these adjusted in as quickly as possible, you know before I start freaking out and dismantling them all for making it bad to begin with." Sakura finally admitted arms thrown out.

It wasn't the first time his headaches had become a problem. Making so many clones, and having them push information back and forth, was bound to cause it. It still didn't make her not worry. One blink to long could get him killed, it took about a week for him to shrug off the information and process at his own pace, not blinking as it came in.

Sasuke looked at her exasperated, "I know it's not easy, trust me. Had you told me before we left, fuck before we graduated I'd be concerned for the idiot's health for real reasons, and for his well being mentally, I'd have had you admitted." he chuckled lightly, smiling, "But the idiot does know what he's doing. We've tested it remember. It's training, and once he's use to the stretch, he'll be fine. He promised, if they didn't get better to tell us, we just have to trust him."

Sakura supposed she should listen, it wasn't even the largest batch they had made. "I'm just worried." she tried again, trying to get the point through.

"I know." Was the quiet answer, but not from who she thought, Koga stood behind her. He was a few years older than them, and lean. She noted he had left his bat elsewhere. "Don't worry so much about us, we do know what we're doing, and trust me, Mirama and I aren't the only two who'd jump off a cliff for him. Trust the boss for now. He isn't in any danger, I promise. He is however happy to be able to help you both, he is very happy to have an information network working in your favor." he stressed

Sasuke nodded, "See, from the horses own mouth. Now come on, your gotta go visit Mirama, I have to deal with my own stuck up alias, your's and our entourage." Sakura laughed at his misfortune. The royal, and his sword wielding maiden, were a pain in the ass.

At least they employed Koga enough that they will likely help pave Koga's path across the elemental nations. Not that he couldn't on his own.

Koga himself smirked before moving away to meet his maker down stairs, leaving the two alone to change.

Later on that night, after leaving behind Mirama's brothel, Sakura finally relaxed seeing her team all waiting for her around the card table, Koga included.

He was a strange side of Naruto, a bit bloody around the edges, but no less apart of him, a part desperate to protect them.

She hadn't thought the jumping ship would end up with a family, or that Naruto Uzumaki would be her best friend, better than even Ino. She was glad she'd gone, more so than ever.

* * *

Mirama looked up from her books, one of her girls, another clone fidgeted, "We have a client, one I think, the boss may need to be here in person to see." she said softly, eyes down cast.

The boss wasn't linking receiving the memories of the host girls, instead receiving reports through her and paper travel between them and Koga's bandits.

It wasn't the smartest move, in honesty. It made slow communication, but at the same time, Mirama herself could vouch for being afraid, at her core she was still Naruto, still a guy. _Icha Icha Paradise_ and _Icha Icha Reverse_ couldn't prepare them for everything. Even if her girls were fine, even going as far as to say they enjoyed working in the brothels, the fear and uncertainty lived.

Mirama flicked the book closed, "I'll be down in a moment." Creating a clone to dispel with her memories, no matter the response, it was her job as the owner of the establishment to see to all difficult clientele.

Once satisfied that her raven locks were secure in an elegant bun, and her makeup impeccable, she floated down the stairs. Catching sight of a larger white haired man, she quickly made another clone as she descended the last few steps.

Jiraiya of the Sannin, as legend precedes him. A pervert through and through.

Mirama hid her smirk, she and the boss learned most of her techniques from the man's questionable literature. "I do hope you plan on giving us a little credit to your next book if you are going to be researching our establishment."

She watched the white haired man as his eyes landed on her sweeping down her form. The dress hid a great deal, but also served to entice the men with the few slips of skin that came when she shifted just right, or her breasts pushed just a hair higher. "Only if I get a private interview with you." he cheeked.

Feeling a soft push, she allowed her maker's memories through with a soft laugh, she very much would have liked to show her surprise at his choice.

Fear she supposed, can't be kept when Konoha's spymaster was to close for comfort. "That can be arranged." she uttered softly, her voice feathers.

Jiraiya was taken back, his posture loose, surprised. He grinned, pleased, "You available now?"

Mirama smile was sharp, her posture revealing just a hair more skin as she shrugs, "For you, I have nothing better to do. Not when my girls seem to not interest you enough to interview." she watched his eyes skim her skin, before they widened slightly at the implication.

Downing his sake he stood to his feet, a shinobi's grace, "After you, madam."

* * *

 _Lord Hokage,_

 _Thank you for your condolences, but there is no need._

 _I will keep an eye out for my little brother and his team, should we cross paths I will evaluate the situation and inform you accordingly._

 _Itachi U_

The pen snapped in Itachi's hand, his name incomplete. Glaring at it Itachi felt himself begin to become even more agitated than the day he got the message from Jiraiya.

Kisame who had the misfortune of existing at the moment, grinned, "Upset there Itachi?" He squeaked as the pen lodge itself beside his head in the hallway. "I'll-" He couldn't finish as fourteen equally broken pens came pinned around his body.

"I do not have time for you idiocy, leave." The snarl from the normally stoic Raven had Kisame running, he didn't even care when he saw Deidara heading for his doom, just scooped him up and kept moving as quickly as he could to Pein.


End file.
